The Non-Euclidian Staircase

Oh, it has good spots. The action scenes are glitzy and sharp, even if they lack most of the originality seen in the first trilogy and the fluid continuity of the final duel in The Phantom Menace (a sequence which was perhaps the only really good thing about that film). At least Lucas does (mostly) avoid the over-editing, overly-shaky camera work that many directors use to hide their ill-choreographed action. And it mostly lacks the painful juvenile attempts at humor of the prior two prequels, but it's a movie that lacks a heart, told by a writer/director more interested in the colors of the various weapons his protagonists wield than in their characters. Numerous shout-outs to the fans of the original trilogy fall dead, especially the completely meaningless role given to Chewbacca.

There isn't a prize for simply not fumbling, and that's almost all Lucas achieves here. "Not as bad as the last two" isn't the same thing as "good." To be praiseworthy, you have to actually move the ball forward. And I was more thrilled by this story reading it second-hand from interviews Lucas has given over the years than I was watching it. Most of this film, I was just as bored as the actors seemed (with rare exceptions, mostly from those who took the director's effective absence as an excuse to munch the scenery until it was almost gone... so yes, you can chew on digital scenery).

I almost hate to quote this, because I disagree with it so vehemently, but this film pretty much exemplifies the something Laurie Anderson said in her early piece, United States Part One...

In science fiction, the hero just flies in at the very beginning.
He can bend steel with his bare hands.
He can walk in zero gravity.
He can see right through lead doors.
But no one asks how he is able to do these things.
They just say, "Look! He's walking in zero gravity."
So you don't have to deal with human nature at all.

I like my films to deal with human nature, especially my science fiction. Which, I guess, is why I'm so disappointed to be certain this film will make many times the money of, say, a certain other movie that manages that in spades.